A Totally Normal Day

What This Book Covers

1. Prologue - Pumped Up at the Pump
2. Chapter One - The Parking Lot Ritual
3. Chapter Two - The Food Court Pilgrimage
4. Chapter Three - Spencer’s Gifts, Soap Temples, and the Forbidden Escalator
5. Chapter Four - The Sunglass Showdown and That Girl From... Somewhere?
6. Chapter Five - Mall Arcade: Tokens, Tension, and That Impossible Claw Machine
7. Chapter Six - Bookstore: Prophecies, Puzzles, and the Self-Help Section Showdown
8. Chapter Seven - Restroom Interlude: Echoes, Graffiti, and Unholy Air Fresheners
9. Chapter Eight - Threads and Hey Dudes: A Fabricated Identity Crisis
10. Chapter Nine - The Escalator Ascension: A Childhood Flashback, a Skinned Knee, and Transcendence at 0.4 MPH
11. Chapter Ten - The Doggy Store: A Bark, a Whimper, a Cosmic Connection
12. Chapter Eleven - Snack Run: The Sacred Pilgrimage of Munch
13. Chapter Twelve - Water Fountain: The Drink That Changed Everything
14. Chapter Thirteen - GameStop: The Quest for the Digital Spud
15. Chapter Fourteen - Koi Pond: Whispering Waters and Watery Whispers
16. Chapter Fifteen - Where Chaos Hides in Lava Lamps
17. Chapter Sixteen - Escalator Showdown: The Descent Into Destiny
18. Chapter Seventeen - The Quest Complete: Panda Express and Chocolate Milk

Excerpt

PROLOGUE - PUMPED UP AT THE PUMP I PULL INTO the gas station with twelve miles left on the tank and the confidence of a man who’s done this before. I park at pump 3. The best one. Not too close to the entrance, not too far. Prime zone. I step out, stretch like I’m about to run wind sprints, and swipe my card. It doesn’t work. I swipe it again, but faster. Doesn’t work. Third time, slow and seductive. Bingo. Gas pumps are weird. It always feels like you’re defusing a bomb while your playlist shuffles between “Eye of the Tiger” and an instrumental lo-fi remix of “Eye of the Tiger.” I pop the cap and start fueling up. While it pumps, I go inside to get a drink. This is what champions do....