A Totally Normal Day
A surreal, comedic journey through American mall culture that turns an ordinary shopping day into an existential adventure through consumerism's sacred spaces.
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Chapters
19 total- 01Prologue - Pumped Up at the Pump
- 02Chapter One - The Parking Lot Ritual
- 03Chapter Two - The Food Court Pilgrimage
- 04Chapter Three - Spencer’s Gifts, Soap Temples, and the Forbidden Escalator
- 05Chapter Four - The Sunglass Showdown and That Girl From... Somewhere?
- 06Chapter Five - Mall Arcade: Tokens, Tension, and That Impossible Claw Machine
- 07Chapter Six - Bookstore: Prophecies, Puzzles, and the Self-Help Section Showdown
- 08Chapter Seven - Restroom Interlude: Echoes, Graffiti, and Unholy Air Fresheners
- 09Chapter Eight - Threads and Hey Dudes: A Fabricated Identity Crisis
- 10Chapter Nine - The Escalator Ascension: A Childhood Flashback, a Skinned Knee, and Transcendence at 0.4 MPH
- 11Chapter Ten - The Doggy Store: A Bark, a Whimper, a Cosmic Connection
- 12Chapter Eleven - Snack Run: The Sacred Pilgrimage of Munch
- 13Chapter Twelve - Water Fountain: The Drink That Changed Everything
- 14Chapter Thirteen - GameStop: The Quest for the Digital Spud
- 15Chapter Fourteen - Koi Pond: Whispering Waters and Watery Whispers
- 16Chapter Fifteen - Where Chaos Hides in Lava Lamps
- 17Chapter Sixteen - Escalator Showdown: The Descent Into Destiny
- 18Chapter Seventeen - The Quest Complete: Panda Express and Chocolate Milk
Show 1 more sections
- 19Epilogue
Edition notes and short pages
A Totally Normal Day
A Totally Normal Day
by JJ
Dedication
For anyone who's ever had a mall day that accidentally changed their life.
And for the one who always holds the elevator door.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
THANKS TO EVERY escalator I’ve ever ridden, every Cinnabon I’ve ever resisted, and to Stoney—for being the original good boy.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
JJ WRITES BOOKS faster than most people lose their sunglasses.
He likes chocolate milk, metaphysics, and finding enlightenment in food courts.
Follow him on Instagram @jj_james.johnson for new releases, bad jokes, and better ones.
COPYRIGHT
© 2025 JJ
ALL rights reserved.
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real malls, people, dogs, or sunglasses—alive or otherwise—is purely coincidental, unless it’s funny. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means without written permission from the author, except for brief quotes used in reviews, reactions, or TikToks that say “bro what??”