Chapter Eight - What If My Partner’s a Moron?

CHAPTER EIGHT

What If My Partner’s a Moron?

GETTING PREGNANT DOESN’T just change your body.
It changes your relationships.
With your partner.
With your parents.
With yourself.

Sometimes it brings people closer.
Sometimes it pushes people apart.
Sometimes it turns a situationship into a whole lifetime-ship whether you were ready or not.

So let’s walk through the dynamics and figure out where you actually stand.

1. If you’re together and trying

If you and your partner are genuinely in this together, that’s huge.
Even strong couples hit turbulence, because pregnancy puts pressure on every crack that already existed.

Talking about expectations matters more than you think.
Who’s working?
Who’s helping at night?
Who’s doing what?

You’re not just surviving nine months.
You’re building a team.

Emotional support matters just as much.
Hormones, fear, and stress are guaranteed. None of it is imaginary.
You’ll both change through this, sometimes together and sometimes not.

The green flags are simple.
They show up to appointments.
They ask how you’re feeling.
They check on you without being asked.
They try, even if they’re clumsy about it.
Trying counts.

2. If you’re somehow together, but it’s messy

Maybe you were hooking up.
Maybe you were on-again, off-again.
Maybe you liked each other but weren’t “together.”

This is one of the hardest spots, because no one has defined anything.

So here’s the only thing that matters: are they showing up right now?
Not what they said three weeks ago.
Not what they promise about the future.
Today.

Are they texting back?
Asking questions?
Offering help?
Or dodging the entire situation like it’s optional?

If they’re engaged, great.
If they’re not, that’s not on you.

Their inconsistency is not a reflection of your worth or your ability to parent.

3. If you’re on your own

Solo parenting is a heavy lift, but absolutely possible.
Being the only steady person doesn’t make you less.
It makes you the one who’s actually showing up.

There are real wins to doing this yourself.
No arguments about names or diapers.
No negotiations about schedules.
Your house, your rules.
Your choices.

You get all the firsts.
Every smile.
Every milestone.
Every little victory.

But yeah, it’s hard.
No one pretends it’s not.

That’s why you need a village even if you’re parenting alone.
Family.
Friends.
Support groups.
Online communities.
Programs for single parents.

Parenting alone doesn’t mean doing everything alone.

4. If they’re a moron (a.k.a. The Deadweight Dilemma)

Sometimes your partner doesn’t understand.
Sometimes they just don’t want to.

Here’s the blunt truth:
If someone isn’t helping, they’re hurting.

If they’re adding stress, starting arguments, disappearing when things get real, or making you feel worse, they’re not the support system.

It’s okay to be disappointed.
It’s okay to grieve the version of them you hoped would show up.

But right now your job is to protect your peace.
You don’t need a hero.
You need stability.
And you can build stability with or without them.

Pregnancy exposes people.
Some step up.
Some fade out.
Some become who you hoped they’d be.
Others become exactly who you feared they were.

But through all of it, one thing stays the same.
You still control how this story unfolds.

Whether you’ve got a team, you’re building one, or you’re the entire squad, you are capable.

You’re doing more right than you realize.
And you’re doing better than you think.