Chapter Eight - Bohemian Grove and the Ritual of Care

CHAPTER EIGHT

Bohemian Grove and the Ritual of Care

WELCOME TO THE forest.

No passwords.
No pentagrams.
Just 2,700 acres of ancient redwoods, an owl statue the size of a small house, and some of the most powerful men in America… dressed in robes… burning things.

Yes, it’s real.
No, it’s not a movie.

This is Bohemian Grove—equal parts private club, elite playground, and surreal performance art piece that looks like Eyes Wide Shut met a summer camp and said, “Let’s make it weird.”

Let’s unpack it.

Bohemian Grove is the private summer retreat of the Bohemian Club, a San Francisco-based gentlemen’s club founded in 1872.

Back then, it was mostly artists, journalists, and musicians—people who liked wine, Wagner, and getting away from their wives for a few weeks under the noble banner of “male bonding.”

But by the early 20th century, things shifted.

The artists stayed.
But they were increasingly joined (and then outnumbered) by CEOs, generals, senators, and presidents.

It became a kind of elite speakeasy for the ruling class—a place to:

• Relax
• Network
• Pee on redwood trees (an actual tradition)
• Watch Shakespeare in drag
• And yes—conduct very strange rituals

Which brings us to… the Cremation of Care

This is the ritual.

Every July, on the first night of the retreat, members gather before a 40-foot stone owl—the club’s mascot and symbol of wisdom.

They wear robes.
They speak in archaic English.
They carry torches and sing dirges.
And they burn an effigy called “Dull Care”—a symbolic representation of stress, responsibility, and worldliness.

This is the Cremation of Care.

It’s not Satanic.
It’s not Illuminati.
It’s elite stress relief through amateur theater.

Like a TED Talk meets Midsommar—but with more bourbon.

Still, when Alex Jones and a camera crew infiltrated the Grove in 2000 and filmed the ritual, people freaked out.

Because let’s be honest:
Any time powerful men in robes burn human-shaped things while chanting before a giant owl…

It’s gonna raise some questions.

So who actually goes to this place?

Short answer: a lot of people you’ve heard of.

Long answer:

• Presidents: Nixon, Reagan, both Bushes
• Cabinet members
• CEOs of Fortune 500 companies
• Generals
• Media moguls
• And think tank leaders

It’s invite-only, male-only, and ultra-private.

No press.
No phones.
No business talk “officially”—though unofficially, plenty has gone down in those woods.

The Manhattan Project was reportedly first pitched there.
So was Reagan’s plan to run for president.

It’s less “cabal in the woods” and more LinkedIn: Pagan Forest Expansion Pack.

Let’s talk about the owl.

The owl isn’t Moloch.
(Despite the internet’s persistent insistence that it is.)

Moloch was a Canaanite deity associated with child sacrifice.
The Grove owl is modeled more on Minerva, Roman goddess of wisdom.

But here’s where it gets muddy:

The ritual language does refer to “Mighty Owl” and even references things that sound… Moloch-adjacent.

So is it literal?
No.
Is it symbolic performance?
Yes.
Is it weirdly theatrical and kind of creepy in a "do these guys know how this looks?" kind of way?

Absolutely.

Bohemian Grove walks a strange line.

On one hand, it’s a place for overworked elites to unplug and indulge in absurd rituals that help them pretend they’re 19th-century druids instead of 21st-century power brokers.

On the other hand…

It’s a sealed, elite environment where some of the world’s most powerful men can talk, drink, and make decisions free from oversight or record.

And that’s what makes it matter.

Not because it’s a satanic cabal.

Because it’s a closed space where legacy, influence, and agenda merge—off the grid.

Like Skull and Bones, but in flannel.

Bohemian Grove isn’t where secret world orders are handed out like s’mores.

But it is a place where:

• Worldviews are aligned
• Strategies are floated
• Trust is built
• And power solidifies quietly, behind the veil of performance and tradition

They call it a retreat.
But it’s also a ritual reinforcement loop.

And when the men making global decisions gather around a 40-foot owl to burn Care to death every July?

You have to ask:

What else are they willing to burn?