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Thanks, But No Thanks cover
History & Civilization +1 more

Thanks, But No Thanks

A sharp takedown of Thanksgiving mythology that exposes how a brutal colonial history got whitewashed into paper feathers and pageant scripts.

31 min readReading time
14Sections
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Chapters

14 total
  1. 01Prologue
  2. 02Chapter One - Before the Pilgrims
  3. 03Chapter Two - The Mayflower Was a Mistake
  4. 04Chapter Three - A Very Awkward Dinner
  5. 05Chapter Four - After the Meal: Fire and Smallpox
  6. 06Chapter Five - Thank God for Victory (Over Natives)
  7. 07Chapter Six - The Woman Who Made It a Holiday
  8. 08Chapter Seven - Norman Rockwell Lied to You
  9. 09Chapter Eight - The Pageant Generation
  10. 10Chapter Nine - Native Resistance Never Stopped
  11. 11Chapter Ten - What’s Actually on the Table?
  12. 12Chapter Eleven - Lies We Still Tell
  13. 13Chapter Twelve - Turkey, Floats, and Football
  14. 14Chapter Thirteen - What Are We Even Thanking?
Edition notes and short pages
Dedications, notices, acknowledgments, author notes, and short passages from this book.

Thanks, But No Thanks

Thanks, But No Thanks
A Hungry Little History of Thanksgiving

by James Johnson

Dedication

For the ones who were here first—
and the ones still fighting to be heard.

And for every kid who had to wear a paper feather
and smile like it meant something.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS


TO THE WAMPANOAG, the Pequot, the Narragansett, and every nation whose name was erased, mangled, or mythologized — you’re not forgotten.

To every historian, teacher, activist, artist, and elder who’s been telling the real story while America played make-believe — this book stands on your shoulders.

And to whoever keeps inviting me to Thanksgiving dinner even after reading this — you’re brave.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR


JJ WRITES LIKE a scalpel and laughs like a bomb.
He’s the author of The Most Wonderful Time, Socrates: The Man Who Knew Nothing, History 101, and about 200 other books your history teacher wouldn’t dare assign.

He believes in telling the truth — especially when it's been dressed up in stuffing.

Find him where the myths go to die.

COPYRIGHT


© 2025 JAMES JOHNSON. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, distributed, or performed at a school pageant without prior written permission, unless you’re quoting it to start an argument with your uncle — in which case, please proceed.

This work is a historical narrative, not a textbook. It is based on documented events, verifiable research, and a deep suspicion of national myths. Interpretations are my own. If you came here for fairy tales, you’re holding the wrong book.

All references to Native nations are made with respect and the understanding that no single voice can represent a people. Mistakes are mine. The silence was never theirs.

Printed in the land of stolen land.