JJ University
Navigate
HomeLibraryPrintArenaAtlasAboutContactSettings
Skip to content
JJ UniversityFree books by James Johnson
Account
Menu
Back to books
If I Were Evil cover
History & Civilization +4 more

If I Were Evil

No, I’d start the kind that eats twenty-year-olds alive and burps out “entrepreneurs.” The kind where “family” means you take the blame, and “culture” means I make the money.

46 min readReading time
23Sections
Start reading

Reading progress can be saved on this device. Account tools are available if you sign in.

Chapters

23 total
  1. 01Foreword
  2. 02Chapter One - Recruitment Season (A.K.A. The Harvest)
  3. 03Chapter Two - Pick Your Poison: The Industry Doesn’t Matter
  4. 04Chapter Three - Bait the Dream, Not the Hook
  5. 05Chapter Four - Build the Farm: Recruiting the Rookies
  6. 06Chapter Five - Fake the Math: How to Inflate the Dream
  7. 07Chapter Six - Dress Code Cultivation: But Let’s Get More Tacky
  8. 08Chapter Seven - Set the Leash, Territories, Housing, and Cars
  9. 09Chapter Eight - Sell the Sacrifice Twelve Hours for the Culture
  10. 10Chapter Nine - The Smiles They Train Into You
  11. 11Chapter Ten - The Manufactured Brotherhood
  12. 12Chapter Eleven - How to Break a Mind in 7 Days
  13. 13Chapter Twelve - Fake Google Reviews – The Digital Illusion of Credibility
  14. 14Chapter Thirteen - 1099 – Your Loophole to Legal Slavery
  15. 15Chapter Fourteen - Create Your Own Mythology
  16. 16Chapter Fifteen - The Hall of Ghosts — How to Prime a Neighborhood with Broken Feet
  17. 17Chapter Sixteen - Chilling Is Treason — The Death March of Data Collection
  18. 18Chapter Seventeen - The Script as Scripture — Building the Gospel of Control
Show 5 more sections
  1. 19Chapter Eighteen - Gratitude Meetings and Weaponizing Reflection
  2. 20Chapter Nineteen - Burnout Insurance — Lease the Porsche
  3. 21Chapter Twenty - Fake It Till They Break It
  4. 22Chapter Twenty-One - The Part Where You Ghost Them
  5. 23Chapter Twenty-Two - How to Get Away With It
Edition notes and short pages
Dedications, notices, acknowledgments, author notes, and short passages from this book.

If I Were Evil

If I Were Evil

by JJ

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS


TO EVERY ROOKIE who got dropped off in a strange neighborhood with a clipboard and a dream—
You weren’t crazy. You were just getting played.

To the whistleblowers, the skeptics, the overthinkers, the curb-sitters, and the ones who kept asking questions—
This is your vindication.

And to the real ones who stayed loyal even when the script stopped making sense—
You helped write this.

Also, thanks to caffeine, rage, and the relentless voice in my head that said,
“You’re not done yet.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR


JJ IS A writer, pattern-watcher, and former insider who’s seen too much and said too little—until now. With a background in sales, psychology, and the uncomfortable art of seeing through bullshit, JJ writes sharp, unfiltered books that dismantle systems and decode manipulation one chapter at a time.

If I Were Evil is not their first book, and it won’t be the last.
To follow the work, find the truth, or join the mission:
Instagram: jj_james.johnson

DISCLAIMER


LET’S GET ONE thing straight: this book is a joke.

Kind of.

If I Were Evil is a satirical thought experiment, written entirely in the hypothetical. It is not meant to accuse, defame, or expose any specific person, company, or organization—though it might feel that way if you recognize a few things. That’s on you.

This book is not legal advice. It’s not business advice. It’s not even moral advice. It’s a blueprint for manipulation masquerading as a cautionary tale. It’s a reverse confession written in the voice of someone who could do great evil… if they wanted to. But they don’t. Obviously.

Any resemblance to real-world practices or companies is purely a coincidence.
Or a reflection. Or a glitch in the system.

Take from it what you will. Just remember:
I would never actually do any of this.
Unless I were evil.

COPYRIGHT


COPYRIGHT © 2025 BY JJ
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise—without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews or scholarly analysis.

This is a work of satire and commentary. Names, characters, companies, and scenarios are either products of the author’s imagination or used in a satirical or symbolic way. Any resemblance to actual events, companies, or persons—living or dead—is purely coincidental.

For rights, inquiries, or to reach the author:
Email: jamesjj0381@gmail.com