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humanity.exe cover
History & Civilization +1 more

humanity.exe

Human history at full speed, from the Big Bang to the 2020s, with the recurring code behind empires, money, nations, collapse, and power exposed along the way.

2 hr 58 min readReading time
81Sections
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Chapters

81 total
  1. 01Prologue
  2. 02Chapter One - bigbang.exe
  3. 03Chapter Two - Stars, Rocks, Water, Life
  4. 04Chapter Three - Primates Start Getting Ideas
  5. 05Chapter Four - Fire, Tools, and Shit Gets Real
  6. 06Chapter Five - Sumerians: “Let’s Write This Down”
  7. 07Chapter Six - Egypt: “Build Big or Die Trying”
  8. 08Chapter Seven - Indus Valley: The Quiet Goat
  9. 09Chapter Eight - China: River Kings and Bronze Bling
  10. 10Chapter Nine - Minoans, Mycenaeans, and “Oops, a Volcano”
  11. 11Chapter Ten - Mesopotamia Goes to War (Akkad, Babylon, and Assyria)
  12. 12Chapter Eleven - Hebrews: A People, a Promise
  13. 13Chapter Twelve - Persia: The First Boss Level
  14. 14Chapter Thirteen - Greece: City-States & Philosophers
  15. 15Chapter Fourteen - Alexander: Blitz, Break, Bounce
  16. 16Chapter Fifteen - India Goes Epic: Vedas to Maurya
  17. 17Chapter Sixteen - Qin China: Wall It Off
  18. 18Chapter Seventeen - Han China: Bureaucracy and Silk
Show 63 more sections
  1. 19Chapter Eighteen - Rome Rises: From Republic to Goat Show
  2. 20Chapter Nineteen - Jesus: One Guy, Infinite Splash Damage
  3. 21Chapter Twenty - Rome Falls: Two Empires, One Divorce
  4. 22Chapter Twenty-One - Byzantium: We’re Still Rome, Shut Up
  5. 23Chapter Twenty-Two - Islam: Desert Bloom
  6. 24Chapter Twenty-Three - Tang & Song China: innovation.exe
  7. 25Chapter Twenty-Four - Charlemagne: A Sword and a Pope
  8. 26Chapter Twenty-Five - Vikings: Travel Influencers with Axes
  9. 27Chapter Twenty-Six - The Crusades: Deus Vult
  10. 28Chapter Twenty-Seven - Mongols: Ctrl+A, Delete
  11. 29Chapter Twenty-Eight - Africa: Ghana, Mali, Mansa Musa
  12. 30Chapter Twenty-Nine - America Before Columbus: Maya, Aztec, Inca
  13. 31Chapter Thirty - blackdeath.exe
  14. 32Chapter Thirty-One - Ottoman Empire: The Long Flex
  15. 33Chapter Thirty-Two - The Renaissance: Europe Wakes Up
  16. 34Chapter Thirty-Three - Spain Goes God Mode
  17. 35Chapter Thirty-Four - Portugal: The Sneaky Winner
  18. 36Chapter Thirty-Five - Reformation: Martin Has Notes
  19. 37Chapter Thirty-Six - Mughal India: bling.exe
  20. 38Chapter Thirty-Seven - Ming & Qing: The Great Firewall
  21. 39Chapter Thirty-Eight - Japan Closes the Door
  22. 40Chapter Thirty-Nine - Colonialism: Begin Planet Takeover
  23. 41Chapter Forty - America: Yeet the Tea
  24. 42Chapter Forty-One - France: Chop Everything
  25. 43Chapter Forty-Two - Haiti: The Real One
  26. 44Chapter Forty-Three - industry.exe
  27. 45Chapter Forty-Four - Capitalism & Karl
  28. 46Chapter Forty-Five - Britain Becomes a Megacorp
  29. 47Chapter Forty-Six - U.S. Expands Like a Video Game
  30. 48Chapter Forty-Seven - Africa Gets Sliced
  31. 49Chapter Forty-Eight - Japan Reloads
  32. 50Chapter Forty-Nine - China Gets Humiliated
  33. 51Chapter Fifty - Imperial Tensions Mount
  34. 52Chapter Fifty-One - WWI: Nobody Wins
  35. 53Chapter Fifty-Two - Roaring, Crashing, Burning
  36. 54Chapter Fifty-Three - hitler.exe Loads
  37. 55Chapter Fifty-Four - WWII: The Big One
  38. 56Chapter Fifty-Five - The Holocaust: horror.exe
  39. 57Chapter Fifty-Six - Nukes Drop, Curtains Fall
  40. 58Chapter Fifty-Seven - Cold War: Freeze Tag with Nukes
  41. 59Chapter Fifty-Eight - America’s Century: McEmpire
  42. 60Chapter Fifty-Nine - china.exe Reloads
  43. 61Chapter Sixty - The Middle East Catches Fire
  44. 62Chapter Sixty-One - Europe Gets Cozy
  45. 63Chapter Sixty-Two - Africa’s Hard Reset
  46. 64Chapter Sixty-Three - Latin America: Coups & Cans
  47. 65Chapter Sixty-Four - The Digital Revolution
  48. 66Chapter Sixty-Five - globalization.exe
  49. 67Chapter Sixty-Six - 9/11: Forever War
  50. 68Chapter Sixty-Seven - 2008 Crash and 2016 Chaos
  51. 69Chapter Sixty-Eight - Pandemic, AI, and the Metaverse
  52. 70Chapter Sixty-Nine - How Empires Actually Work
  53. 71Chapter Seventy - Why Humans Keep Repeating Shit
  54. 72Chapter Seventy-One - The Subconscious of Civilization
  55. 73Chapter Seventy-Two - Power as a Program
  56. 74Chapter Seventy-Three - Money as a Religion
  57. 75Chapter Seventy-Four - Nation-States as Memes
  58. 76Chapter Seventy-Five - Collapse is a Feature, Not a Bug
  59. 77Chapter Seventy-Six - What Comes After?
  60. 78Chapter Seventy-Seven - The 2020s and Beyond
  61. 79Chapter Seventy-Eight - Can Humanity Survive Itself?
  62. 80Chapter Seventy-Nine - What This Whole Book Was Actually About
  63. 81Chapter Eighty - Thanks for Playing, Player One
Edition notes and short pages
Dedications, notices, acknowledgments, author notes, and short passages from this book.

humanity.exe

humanity.exe
A History of Pretty Much Everything

by James Johnson

Dedication

For every glitch in the matrix, every moment that didn’t make the textbooks, and every human who ever asked, “Wait… what the hell is going on?”

You’re not alone.
You never were.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS


THANKS TO EVERY friend, teacher, philosopher, internet comment section, and ancient skeleton that helped me realize just how much we’ve done and how little we actually understand.

This book was made possible by obsession, chaos, curiosity, and whatever the hell kind of subconscious code is running through me at this point.

And to you, the reader. Thanks for reading.
Seriously. You could’ve just closed the tab.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR


JJ IS A writer, builder, and mental speedrunner who scrolls through history like it’s a side quest. He’s written over 250 books (and counting), mostly because he can’t stop seeing the code underneath everything.

When he’s not mapping civilization like a video game, he’s reloading ideas, redesigning systems, and occasionally remembering to eat.

He does not have a PhD.
He has something worse: perspective.

COPYRIGHT


© 2025 JAMES JOHNSON. All rights reserved.

This is an independent publication and is not affiliated with any institution, government, religion, software company, or AI overlord. Past, present, or future.

You may quote, share, remix, and reference this book for educational or creative purposes, but please don’t steal it and act like you wrote it. That’s lame.

This book is based on historical events, cultural records, and well-documented sources. But it’s also fast, funny, and intentionally simplified in places. Some events are compressed, some voices amplified, and some jokes slipped in between empires.

If you’re looking for a textbook, go somewhere else.