Chapter Five - Substitutes and Silent Standoffs

CHAPTER FIVE

Substitutes and Silent Standoffs

“WE THOUGHT IT was nap time today.”

Substitutes are a funny concept.
They’re like guest stars in the sitcom of your school day, appearing suddenly, reading off someone else’s script, and trying to keep the room from burning down before the bell rings.

There are unwritten rules when a substitute walks in. Everyone knows them. No one teaches them. But they exist.

Rule one: Don’t say more than you have to.
If the sub asks, “So, what were you supposed to do today?” the correct response is a perfectly synchronized group shrug. What assignment? Oh, we thought this was a study day. You’ve never seen 30 teenagers pretend to forget faster.

Of course, sometimes the substitute already has the gameplan. The real notes. Maybe even an email from your teacher saying, “No phones. No shortcuts. No mercy.” In those cases, yeah, you’re cooked. But most of the time, there’s still a little room for improvisation.

Substitutes have their own rules.
They bring their own rhythm into your classroom, and for that day, it becomes their classroom. Some are strict. Some are lost. Some seem like they were teleported into the building five minutes ago. Some just want to read a book and pretend you’re not there. And occasionally, you get one who tries to give a surprise lecture on something completely unrelated, like a motivational speech you didn’t ask for about “earning your place in society.”

But here’s the thing that matters most:
Be nice to subs.

Seriously.
You’d be amazed how many people treat substitutes like they’re not real. Like they’re just part of the furniture. I saw kids be rude for no reason. Talk back. Roll their eyes. Try to start a power trip. And for what? They’re not villains. They’re just stepping in. Some are retired teachers. Some are in college. Some are just trying to make a little money. They’re not here to ruin your life, they’re just filling a seat.

Even the weird ones.
Even the ones who call everyone “sport” and confuse your name four times in a row.
Even the ones who won’t let you go to the bathroom.

They’re still people.

Most of my subs were fine.
A few were strange.
One or two were oddly intense about pencils.
But I never had any horror stories. And maybe that’s the lesson, this chapter isn’t about a dramatic meltdown. It’s about realizing that a lot of school is filled with small, forgettable moments… unless you choose to remember them.

So yeah.
Substitute teachers.
Let them have their rules. Don’t be a jerk.
And when they ask what the assignment was?

Just smile and say, “We thought it was nap time today.”